America's Army:Rise of a Soldier (xbox)

Ad- Our game developers don't rely on imagination.

well, imagine this:

The soldiers move fluidly and when they speak, their mouths open at approximately the same time, or at all . Ok. Imagine that they open for starters.

The game doesn't lock up in the midst of the exhaustive training scenarios. Imagine that you don't need a specific version of xbox hardware for this title to function properly.

Imagine that the colors are more than murky, and objects are wrapped in convincing textures.

The developer indeed did not rely on their imagination for any of these things. Instead they rely on ours. I imagined that searge, while busting my balls for lack of M-16 hits was also a master ventriloquist. The man facing me, from whom there flowed some obvious southern drawled vocalizations, was some sort of wooden mannequin, defective from the neck up. After concluding that he was simply a targeting dummy and popping him with my full-metal jacket, I had to replay the whole tedious god-damned scenario. Private, what is your major malfunction? Sorry Searge. Permission to speak? I have no desire to finish the game. This private has already experienced more realism in Ghost Recon 1 for the xbox, and more recently, the exquisite Call of Duty 2 (360), and we're sad to report has gone awol soon after the helo touched down in terrorville.

The weapons physics are nice. Hmm anything else? Yeah, download the free one from the internet instead of paying 50 bones for this dead soldier. I'm hoping that AA:ROAS was not also meant as a recruiting tool. To me, it suggests "rushed, under-funded, and a waste of taxed dollars". Insert inappropriate osprey jokes here. Inexcusable crap compared to everything else that's out there. I rely on imagination to come up with Americas Army:Call of Doodie.