Now a lot of people my age go on and on about "remember when" when they speak of the classics, but they may be letting the "good 'ol days" unduly influence their judgment. I'll try to avoid that pitfall (sorry) when I present my list here of all-time favs. I think there is obviously some merit to first time experiences in regards to gaming. I wasn't someone who had just discovered gaming after all. These were, more often than not, the first of their kind, the definition of innovation. As I've recognized more current iterations and evolutions of games, it has occurred to me that I was fortunate to be there for what essentially was the Jimi Hendrix, the Woodstock and the Beatles of video games. But not all the best gaming experiences in my life occurred before Gorbi was still in charge of the Kremlin.
Number 21: Atari 2600 Adventure
This one may have been produced when Carter was still in office, and it was the first video game I ever played. I'm not going to explain the intricacies of it, other than to say that it had the first easter egg in video games: a black dot (like your character, except much smaller, and black) that would enable you to get to a special credits screen. The following video leaves out the epic battles. You can actually pick up a sword, a golden arrow, and plunge it deep into the belly of the beast (it was a dragon, not a duck). It was these battles, the easter egg, the bat that would come steal my items with a surprisingly clever AI, trading me a dragon for a chalice, and that special "glow" of the chalice, which was the Atari's way of saying "special...this"---the whole experience that not only entertained me for hours, but likely inspired many future game developers. My imagination seemed to fill in the sizable gaps very easily. Check it out on you tube. What I'm showing you here is just a taste, the first level of 3 difficulties. Imagine, if you will, a bat that randomly exchanges objects, or "the catacombs", or possibly the introduction of a red dragon that is faster and more powerful than the other two of its kind. Eh? Eh?
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Safeway Double the Nuggets Review Extravaganza
Me, a former stock clerk at Safeway, Ahhh.. I recall many hours of night shift frozen turkey bowling for 2 liters, grape thief takedown and apprehension (I, the bitter underpaid graveyard laborer took some satisfaction from this sort of thing) , toilet paper 8 pack kicking contests, and coupon machine crushing in the cardboard bailer.
This last one begs a little explanation. I couldn't count the number of times I stood up from facing the bottom shelves, to hit my head on these heavy and sturdy coupon dispensing machines only to have it beep irritatedly at me, and possibly eject a coupon for 10 cents off of my next purchase of Always. My priority shifted over time at the store from arranging the boxes of Count Chocula so that the next 5 year old realized and was impressed with how full the shelf was of his favorite cartoon covered sugar-coated refino corn wheat blend, to performing structural integrity experiments on coupon dispensers. I played sort of a "Will it beep?" game with kicks, elbows, pallet jacks, iron bars, chemicals, and ultimately the finale-the cardboard bailer. No "It will not beep." after being compressed into a cube with trays that once held cans of Fancy Feast. I was playing out my own ending to the Terminator, as the little red light did seem to go out sort of hesitantly. I was almost worried that it would come back and throw another coupon at me, maybe even with a last beep. I did have to deny that I took part in such experiments as I stupidly left the $175 retired machine wedged in the cardboard.
My other strong memory of this ridiculous job was bogo, the buy one get one free work to fill the store hustle with perhaps the most hated acronym ever. In the spirit of bogo, I thought I would provide a buy one get one free review of two types of Safeway nuggets. One type is tasty, and the other crunchy. Nuggets are probably quite common in Safeway, and I'm sure the marketing folks at Safeway will admit that Safeway nuggets are products that are established deep in the psyches of consumers in the form of off-brand loyalty. This is adherence to a branding code, a post 80s fanaticism that basically states "whatever you have been using to sell your product for the last 3 decades should be maintained, as it likely conjures images of pre-apple eden and waterfalls in the small minds of the discerning consumer". I am quite against irrational brand loyalty, which contributes to bloating corporations into something beyond production of soda pop, packaging of chicken into microwavable trays, or the provision of a roof, under which you can buy both stale popcorn and a sentimental copy of The Goonies for under 10 bucks. SO...
I thought I'd give the off-brands a chance.
Nuggets, Crunchy
Grape Nuts is a cereal which I find a fairly healthy and filling low-sugar alternative to most others out there, but it is one of those well-known and popular products that hasn't changed a bit, other than for its 4-6 dollar price range. I take my Grape Nuts quite seriously when it comes to breakfast cereal. This is one time where off-brands are so off, I felt comfortable padding the pockets of Post. It's as unusual a cereal as its name suggests. So you would understand my frustration, when my wife comes home with the Crunchy Nuggets. I thanked her profusely for thinking of me, but my mind was a little more like "I don't ask for much. Why? Why the fuck are you subbing out my Grape Nuts for some Nugget product, when that bottle of pop you're drinking is still covered with red and blue?". But I am generally an appreciative guy, and I gave the Crunchy Nuggets a try:
Flavor: A subtle blend of medite and water, with hints of wheat byproduct, and a nose of fragrant machinery.
Texture: Crunchy Nuggets beats Grape Nuts. End of discussion. It's a complete no-brainer, and here's why: Grape Nuts, while being one of my favorites, has kind of a pointlessness to it. It's so goddamned crunchy, that I have the choice of either waiting until it's soggy, or risk stress fractures in my molars. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not pouring a bowl of cereal because I am enjoying the process and artistry of food preparation. I want it easy and I want it quick. Crunchy Nuggets nailed this with enough milk-defying crunch right out of the box without me reaching for my mouthguard. I loved this factor so much, that I poured a second bowl, which is something I would never do with Grape Nuts-I simply don't have the patience for that shit.
With the factors of flavor and texture averaged, I would say that Crunchy Nuggets is a match for Grape Nuts, and for half the price, I'm rethinking my staple.
Nuggets, Tasty
Tasty Nuggets for me was more of a curiosity, and I thought I'd branch out into Safeway's excellent, yet sub-select line of products.
Flavor: Duck Liver paté warmed on an engine block, aged 2 days outside of oak barrels in hot sun with blood vessels and marrow plucked and sucked from likewise-aged chicken drumstick.
Texture: A thirst inducing crunchy crumble, with what is that? at least 10% sand? I'm not sure I want to bog my septic system with this. Perhaps I should go squat in the back yard.
So the other thing I remember at Safeway was eating dog food for money, and earning enough for something that is truly safe for human consumption. Safeway Tasty Nuggets Dogfood is not something you should feed your dog, if for no other reason, than it's extremely likely you'll multiply your dog shit pick-up volumes. That, and it tastes bad.
This last one begs a little explanation. I couldn't count the number of times I stood up from facing the bottom shelves, to hit my head on these heavy and sturdy coupon dispensing machines only to have it beep irritatedly at me, and possibly eject a coupon for 10 cents off of my next purchase of Always. My priority shifted over time at the store from arranging the boxes of Count Chocula so that the next 5 year old realized and was impressed with how full the shelf was of his favorite cartoon covered sugar-coated refino corn wheat blend, to performing structural integrity experiments on coupon dispensers. I played sort of a "Will it beep?" game with kicks, elbows, pallet jacks, iron bars, chemicals, and ultimately the finale-the cardboard bailer. No "It will not beep." after being compressed into a cube with trays that once held cans of Fancy Feast. I was playing out my own ending to the Terminator, as the little red light did seem to go out sort of hesitantly. I was almost worried that it would come back and throw another coupon at me, maybe even with a last beep. I did have to deny that I took part in such experiments as I stupidly left the $175 retired machine wedged in the cardboard.
My other strong memory of this ridiculous job was bogo, the buy one get one free work to fill the store hustle with perhaps the most hated acronym ever. In the spirit of bogo, I thought I would provide a buy one get one free review of two types of Safeway nuggets. One type is tasty, and the other crunchy. Nuggets are probably quite common in Safeway, and I'm sure the marketing folks at Safeway will admit that Safeway nuggets are products that are established deep in the psyches of consumers in the form of off-brand loyalty. This is adherence to a branding code, a post 80s fanaticism that basically states "whatever you have been using to sell your product for the last 3 decades should be maintained, as it likely conjures images of pre-apple eden and waterfalls in the small minds of the discerning consumer". I am quite against irrational brand loyalty, which contributes to bloating corporations into something beyond production of soda pop, packaging of chicken into microwavable trays, or the provision of a roof, under which you can buy both stale popcorn and a sentimental copy of The Goonies for under 10 bucks. SO...
I thought I'd give the off-brands a chance.
Nuggets, Crunchy
Grape Nuts is a cereal which I find a fairly healthy and filling low-sugar alternative to most others out there, but it is one of those well-known and popular products that hasn't changed a bit, other than for its 4-6 dollar price range. I take my Grape Nuts quite seriously when it comes to breakfast cereal. This is one time where off-brands are so off, I felt comfortable padding the pockets of Post. It's as unusual a cereal as its name suggests. So you would understand my frustration, when my wife comes home with the Crunchy Nuggets. I thanked her profusely for thinking of me, but my mind was a little more like "I don't ask for much. Why? Why the fuck are you subbing out my Grape Nuts for some Nugget product, when that bottle of pop you're drinking is still covered with red and blue?". But I am generally an appreciative guy, and I gave the Crunchy Nuggets a try:
Flavor: A subtle blend of medite and water, with hints of wheat byproduct, and a nose of fragrant machinery.
Texture: Crunchy Nuggets beats Grape Nuts. End of discussion. It's a complete no-brainer, and here's why: Grape Nuts, while being one of my favorites, has kind of a pointlessness to it. It's so goddamned crunchy, that I have the choice of either waiting until it's soggy, or risk stress fractures in my molars. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not pouring a bowl of cereal because I am enjoying the process and artistry of food preparation. I want it easy and I want it quick. Crunchy Nuggets nailed this with enough milk-defying crunch right out of the box without me reaching for my mouthguard. I loved this factor so much, that I poured a second bowl, which is something I would never do with Grape Nuts-I simply don't have the patience for that shit.
With the factors of flavor and texture averaged, I would say that Crunchy Nuggets is a match for Grape Nuts, and for half the price, I'm rethinking my staple.
Nuggets, Tasty
Tasty Nuggets for me was more of a curiosity, and I thought I'd branch out into Safeway's excellent, yet sub-select line of products.
Flavor: Duck Liver paté warmed on an engine block, aged 2 days outside of oak barrels in hot sun with blood vessels and marrow plucked and sucked from likewise-aged chicken drumstick.
Texture: A thirst inducing crunchy crumble, with what is that? at least 10% sand? I'm not sure I want to bog my septic system with this. Perhaps I should go squat in the back yard.
So the other thing I remember at Safeway was eating dog food for money, and earning enough for something that is truly safe for human consumption. Safeway Tasty Nuggets Dogfood is not something you should feed your dog, if for no other reason, than it's extremely likely you'll multiply your dog shit pick-up volumes. That, and it tastes bad.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Atonement
One major problem with Keira Knightley in a movie, is that I'm so awestruck by her appearance, I cannot objectively review her as an actress. For the most part, she is mediocre in the pirates movies, undoubtedly her most recognized role. I say this in hindsight, because while I was ga ga over her symmetry and posture, I failed to recognize that she overacted the chip that was perpetually poised on her shoulder-it seemed that for her to get from bow to stern of any vessel, it had to be storming in indignation thanks to some ill-timed male quip. Maybe too we can look at the ridiculous ending of the trilogy with its overblown cgi budget, monotone blur of ropes and swashbuckling, and...man what happened to the story? Keira had no chance in that one, and I say this also in retrospect after seeing Atonement.In Atonement, she actually plays a comparatively limited role (thankfully allowing me to get engrossed in the story and atmosphere also) as Cecilia.
In summary, she is a woman of privilege, who falls for the grounds keeper. The theme here is somewhat typical where the wealthy have to feign disinterest in the working class in spite of their true desires. I seem to recall a few Victorian era films where this façade is the only thing that propels the story. Atonement, however, is more twisted. The grounds keeper, Robbie Turner (James McAvoy), is a clever, studied, and respectable man who does succeed in getting his girl, Cecilia, early on, but in the process, his advances are misunderstood by Cecilia's young sister, Briony, who eventually wrongfully identifies him as a rapist. The remainder of the film has the characters atoning, surviving, or otherwise suffering the consequences of the decisions of a little girl. It's a dark story, with beautiful cinematic backdrop. Every starring role was performed with subtlety and maturity. The characters were believable to perfection.
What you will notice in the story is a lot of missed opportunities "If they did this one thing differently...If Cecilia had come clean to the police about her fling with Robbie, if they had talked to Briony, the moment she discovered them" etc., but the times (world war II era) and the nature of relationships warranted a very standard tightlippedness that makes this genre ultimately very frustrating for me to enjoy. It's the Shakespearean "tiny misunderstanding begets tragedy", which is fairly unrealistic. Would Cecilia have maintained her façade in real-life rather than temporarily tarnishing her reputation to save the man who was predestined to spend the rest of his life with her? You see this sort of thing in most films featuring some sort of aristocracy. I suppose you see this in politics also, where a minor cover-up creates the real collapse. Ok. Maybe not so unrealistic after all. Someone who is more practical and level-headed could see the potential snowball, and act a little more rationally to prevent it from rolling. However, the characters were victims of the era, which earns them some benefit of the doubt. Did parents even address sex with their children? Probably, like today, it depends on the parents how adequately the topic was covered, but I imagine sex was generally not discussed.
I still appreciated the film in spite of my disbeliefs. Try it out when you're ready for a bit of darkness.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Battle on the 29th-Ghost Recon 2:Summit Strike (xbox)
To kick off the new year, I'm hosting a largish lan battle-Ghost Recon 2:Summit Strike. I'm trying to get 6-8 people in my exercise room/garage area and 6-8 in my living room. There will be 4 xboxes (including my 360 which networks nicely with the older machines_ON THIS GAME)
Mini-review of Ghost Recon 2: Summit Strike
Now I know what I said about franchise whoring etc, but this game has value. For less than 20 bucks, you get most of the multiplayer maps of the first Ghost Recon 2, a bunch of new weapons, skins, and some forgettable but mildly entertaining SP missions--All of this is a lan party must have.
I remember trying to get a Halo 2 game going at a large lan (15-16 players), and for some reason, the machines wouldn't jive with each other, So I popped in Ghost Recon 2 for the lan in spite of a sea of complaints. As soon as the first no-respawn Last Man Standing round ended (about 30 seconds after it started), there was a hushed silence in the group, and then suddenly a frenzied uproar. A few hadn't played this type of game before, and it is as opposite the halo experience as one can have on an FPS. "You mean I can't just run in with my trigger pulled and my shield absorbing everything coming my way, with the only consequence of dying being I magically resurrect myself at the other end of the map?" That evening we didn't even touch halo 2.
I was a big fan of the first Ghost Recon for the xbox. XBL games with my brother, who lived on the opposite end of the continent are unforgettable. One map I remember in particular is Embassy, a beautifully designed urban warfare map with rooftop sniping points, tight alleyways, choke points, and building entries. The map was large, and provided many different combat scenarios. The experience only seemed to get better as we learned the map. My brother and I would exchange emails during work about how we could better dominate this map, hardly being able to wait to get home and try out the new strats.
So, my primary complaint about Ghost Recon 2 is that there is nothing like Embassy. There are no openable doors, very few (if any) rooftops, limited urban warfare in general. The doors though, the doors. Put 'em back in, Mr. Clancy. It's nice to be able to use the interior as well as the exterior of the buildings. The map design is consequently a lot simpler. The environments are more lush and detailed. Unfortunately, a lot of it seems impassable more so than in the first GR, and maybe even simplified for the sake of eye candy. What you actually have less of is making use of your more beauteous cammo to remain hidden in the more beauteous foliage to ambush or snipe, completely defeating the original purpose of the game. It's unfortunate that Ghost Recon sequels will be ultimately lost in a battalion of military shooters because of the marginalizing of all that made it unique. It's simply not the open-ended thinking man's shooter that it used to be.
Secondary complaint: Over the Shoulder (OTS). Big debates over this. Sure, you get better SA, but if your guy can't see around a tree in first person, that's because he's behind the freaking tree! A big negative on the immersion factor. The fix? Host games with 1st person only views. Again, this is an effort to sell more copies, and while adding options like this might seem like "flexibility" for the gamer, it is a fairly clear statement by the developer that this is no longer to be a hardcore sim experience.
Ok Tertiary:Gunners are imbalanced here. They are scaled up in power, big time from GR to GR2. That's as it should be. Once you get the thing set up, there should be mass carnage, period. The problem is that people can move and aim the machine guns nearly as quickly as they can the assault rifles. There should be some sort of penalty for wielding these heavy killing machines. Think run and gun. Without ammo being a consideration, why would you ever select the assault rifle? The lone wolf weapons (built-in semi-auto grenade launchers, camera etc) are even strangely ineffective. No complaints about that. Again in lan parties, you can limit these uber weapons to your liking, to the point of pistols only.
With the above complaints, in mind, are you seeing a pattern here?
And the single player is definitely more difficult, lacks the squad tactics from the first, and the deep unlocking system has been reduced to pictures of crap that you can purchase with points.
Now:
The graphics are better on GR2 without a doubt. I won't even boot the first one for fear of flattening my rosy memories of it.
The sounds are better on GR 2. If you have a subwoofer, crank it up and maybe bring out the sks sniper rifle.
In both sound and graphics, this title is not the xbox showcase piece, with all of the other fps titles out there, but this is still the only way to go if you want multiplayer modern military realism.
I hope we haven't lost the franchise to more of an Unreal Tourney experience for the sake of selling the game to the less than patient folks out there. In Advanced Warfighter, if I turn the knob, it better open. Only then will I buy a copy.
Mini-review of Ghost Recon 2: Summit Strike
Now I know what I said about franchise whoring etc, but this game has value. For less than 20 bucks, you get most of the multiplayer maps of the first Ghost Recon 2, a bunch of new weapons, skins, and some forgettable but mildly entertaining SP missions--All of this is a lan party must have.
I remember trying to get a Halo 2 game going at a large lan (15-16 players), and for some reason, the machines wouldn't jive with each other, So I popped in Ghost Recon 2 for the lan in spite of a sea of complaints. As soon as the first no-respawn Last Man Standing round ended (about 30 seconds after it started), there was a hushed silence in the group, and then suddenly a frenzied uproar. A few hadn't played this type of game before, and it is as opposite the halo experience as one can have on an FPS. "You mean I can't just run in with my trigger pulled and my shield absorbing everything coming my way, with the only consequence of dying being I magically resurrect myself at the other end of the map?" That evening we didn't even touch halo 2.
I was a big fan of the first Ghost Recon for the xbox. XBL games with my brother, who lived on the opposite end of the continent are unforgettable. One map I remember in particular is Embassy, a beautifully designed urban warfare map with rooftop sniping points, tight alleyways, choke points, and building entries. The map was large, and provided many different combat scenarios. The experience only seemed to get better as we learned the map. My brother and I would exchange emails during work about how we could better dominate this map, hardly being able to wait to get home and try out the new strats.
So, my primary complaint about Ghost Recon 2 is that there is nothing like Embassy. There are no openable doors, very few (if any) rooftops, limited urban warfare in general. The doors though, the doors. Put 'em back in, Mr. Clancy. It's nice to be able to use the interior as well as the exterior of the buildings. The map design is consequently a lot simpler. The environments are more lush and detailed. Unfortunately, a lot of it seems impassable more so than in the first GR, and maybe even simplified for the sake of eye candy. What you actually have less of is making use of your more beauteous cammo to remain hidden in the more beauteous foliage to ambush or snipe, completely defeating the original purpose of the game. It's unfortunate that Ghost Recon sequels will be ultimately lost in a battalion of military shooters because of the marginalizing of all that made it unique. It's simply not the open-ended thinking man's shooter that it used to be.
Secondary complaint: Over the Shoulder (OTS). Big debates over this. Sure, you get better SA, but if your guy can't see around a tree in first person, that's because he's behind the freaking tree! A big negative on the immersion factor. The fix? Host games with 1st person only views. Again, this is an effort to sell more copies, and while adding options like this might seem like "flexibility" for the gamer, it is a fairly clear statement by the developer that this is no longer to be a hardcore sim experience.
Ok Tertiary:Gunners are imbalanced here. They are scaled up in power, big time from GR to GR2. That's as it should be. Once you get the thing set up, there should be mass carnage, period. The problem is that people can move and aim the machine guns nearly as quickly as they can the assault rifles. There should be some sort of penalty for wielding these heavy killing machines. Think run and gun. Without ammo being a consideration, why would you ever select the assault rifle? The lone wolf weapons (built-in semi-auto grenade launchers, camera etc) are even strangely ineffective. No complaints about that. Again in lan parties, you can limit these uber weapons to your liking, to the point of pistols only.
With the above complaints, in mind, are you seeing a pattern here?
And the single player is definitely more difficult, lacks the squad tactics from the first, and the deep unlocking system has been reduced to pictures of crap that you can purchase with points.
Now:
The graphics are better on GR2 without a doubt. I won't even boot the first one for fear of flattening my rosy memories of it.
The sounds are better on GR 2. If you have a subwoofer, crank it up and maybe bring out the sks sniper rifle.
In both sound and graphics, this title is not the xbox showcase piece, with all of the other fps titles out there, but this is still the only way to go if you want multiplayer modern military realism.
I hope we haven't lost the franchise to more of an Unreal Tourney experience for the sake of selling the game to the less than patient folks out there. In Advanced Warfighter, if I turn the knob, it better open. Only then will I buy a copy.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
half-life and ass 2
So I got hopelessly hooked on Half-Life 2 this holiday season. What was not to love about it? The physics themselves were enough to entertain for hours. I had a grav gun that could pick up a table and blast it seemingly hundreds of miles per hour at my AI comrades. I could control a crane, and swing a shipping container with such velocity, that it crushed the TH1138ish coppers with a satisfying flatline sound. I could sick pet bugs on the countless puppet patrolmen. I could drive a dune buggy across miles of enemy infested badlands ala Mad Max, seeking ways of getting around various barriers on foot before returning to my rusted gas guzzling beast. The game sets you up as a beloved hero and icon early on, and you never get the feeling that you are alone, though you do defeat a multitudinous variety of creatures single-handedly. The outdoor environments used modern day, then-to-be ruins, sprinkled with alien creatures and technology with clear skies and generally optimal weather. This creates more of an cheerful setting and atmosphere than I have seen with most D.I.Y. shooters. That in itself breaks away from the typical FPS. There are some very clever puzzles involved which make full use of the incredible physics of the source engine, and even though they are fairly simple, you get an immense sense of satisfaction after solving problems and returning to your vehicles to continue the journey.
The graphics are passable, given it is ported to the older xbox. With the lack of graphical definition, and fairly frequent loads, you could tell the xbox is getting a workout.
Did I mention I was playing on Half-Life 2 on my 360? Whoops!!! About 3/4 of the way through, very odd things began to happen. Objects began to float and spin in mid-air, disappearing in the floor, the ceiling, the walls. The lack of collision detection prevented some tactics that would otherwise be very helpful in getting through some very dangerous situations. BUT, I loved the experience so much, I thought that the bugs would stop, or improve. That was not the case. Then, 90% of the way through, the gamebreaker arrived. Some glitch was preventing me from shutting off some very crucial generators in the combine headquarters. Right at the finish line folks, he falls on his face. Now, 11 hours into the game, I can't transfer the save to my old xbox, and I can't finish the game...Lesson learned. If there is a really good game on the xbox, play it on the xbox. Don't believe any backwards compatibility crap if you don't have to. They likely didn't test it beyond startup.
The graphics are passable, given it is ported to the older xbox. With the lack of graphical definition, and fairly frequent loads, you could tell the xbox is getting a workout.
Did I mention I was playing on Half-Life 2 on my 360? Whoops!!! About 3/4 of the way through, very odd things began to happen. Objects began to float and spin in mid-air, disappearing in the floor, the ceiling, the walls. The lack of collision detection prevented some tactics that would otherwise be very helpful in getting through some very dangerous situations. BUT, I loved the experience so much, I thought that the bugs would stop, or improve. That was not the case. Then, 90% of the way through, the gamebreaker arrived. Some glitch was preventing me from shutting off some very crucial generators in the combine headquarters. Right at the finish line folks, he falls on his face. Now, 11 hours into the game, I can't transfer the save to my old xbox, and I can't finish the game...Lesson learned. If there is a really good game on the xbox, play it on the xbox. Don't believe any backwards compatibility crap if you don't have to. They likely didn't test it beyond startup.
xbox 360 worthy launch titles
So what initially strikes you as launch title worthy for the 360, for the sake of being next generation, creative, ground breaking (are these all the same thing more or less?)?
I own:
Kameo
Condemned; Criminal Origins
PGR 3
Call of Duty 2
Perfect Dark:Zero
Gun
Dead or Alive 4 (not really a launch title, but close enough. I reserve judgement for later)
For the xbox 360, these launch titles represent:
Call of Duty 2 (sure the genre is old shoe, but this game is so well-crafted)
Condemned; Criminal Origins
Kameo (sort of, at least in terms of graphics and originality)
I own:
Kameo
Condemned; Criminal Origins
PGR 3
Call of Duty 2
Perfect Dark:Zero
Gun
Dead or Alive 4 (not really a launch title, but close enough. I reserve judgement for later)
For the xbox 360, these launch titles represent:
Call of Duty 2 (sure the genre is old shoe, but this game is so well-crafted)
Condemned; Criminal Origins
Kameo (sort of, at least in terms of graphics and originality)
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Perfect Dark:Zero (xbox 360)
Is it just me, or is the launch lineup for the 360 just a little disappointing? Look. I know it's hard to swallow after spending so much money, and (let's face it) some amount of effort, to be a part of the launch "party" on this new and incredibly powerful system, but I was expecting more. How can I decry something so new and something that we need to see succeed after having invested so much? What I didn't want for this system was a continuation of various franchises and sequels, with very few well-executed exceptions. This machine allows for creativity beyond the established formula set by the PS2 and XBOX. At least it should, right? Innovation is an absolute necessity, or gaming could very well go the way of the movie industry, and perhaps already has.
Oh yeah. Perfect Dark:Zero. I got the impression that this was going to be the flagship release title for the 360. Something that might approach the quality and finish of Halo, in the absence of halo 3? If it were as innovative as halo, it would have been nothing like halo, which might have made it special. If it had the quality of halo, the single player experience alone would have held me past the 8th mission. For the sake of first impressions, Halo was worthy of being a launch title. Perfect Dark is not. I'm not comparing PD:Z to Halo, other than for comparison of quality, innovation, and general ambition and creativity. On that level, PD:Z could have been so much better with the hardware available. For the sake of discussion, this doesn't fill some void caused by the lack of halo 3. Halo 2 does that.
Graphics:
Pretty good I guess. Overall, they seem bland and forgettable.
Sound:
Some ear-piercing noises in the beginning. Nice gun sounds. Gee. I really don't remember.
The main character:
Miss Dark has taken a break from professional DDR dancing to shoot criminals. I hope this American Idol runner-up wasn't intended to be a creative alternative to the typically male soldier associated with the FPS.
Story:
There is really nothing here, I'm sorry to say. Or perhaps there was, and I just forgot.
Gameplay:
I've experienced better combat mechanics in Timesplitters 2 (which is sort of comparable in terms of pacing and weapon physics). There is a cover option that would be nice if it were a little more consistent. Shooting enemies involves either a couple of headshots, or blasting chunks of armor until flesh is exposed and getting a kill. While this graphic effect is interesting at first, after a few multiplayer battles, it becomes a little gimmicky. The levels are fairly open with a lot of impassable areas. The hovercraft is a mediocre attempt at adding vehicles. The roll is a nice alternative to jump. However, I like jumping. It would be better to have rolling as an addition as opposed to an alternative. To take away jumping literally removes a dimension from combat and exploration. It seems like laziness on the part of the programmers more than anything. The major problem with this game is that I'm acutely aware that I'm playing a game. The immersion is completely absent.
Pros:
Frenzied 32 player multiplayer (fantastic. I'll round them up after I finish this halo 2 match!).
Quite a few weapons at your disposal
A semi-effective cover system
Cons:
A nothing story
Many games will give you a better experience for less expense
Overall:
I really don't remember this game much at all. It seems like a combo of other FPSs with some differences that are sort of sketchy and ultimately annoying. It just doesn't handle well, for a lack of better words. If this is the first game of this type that you have ever played and you already plunked down the change, I'm sure you will love it.
Oh yeah. Perfect Dark:Zero. I got the impression that this was going to be the flagship release title for the 360. Something that might approach the quality and finish of Halo, in the absence of halo 3? If it were as innovative as halo, it would have been nothing like halo, which might have made it special. If it had the quality of halo, the single player experience alone would have held me past the 8th mission. For the sake of first impressions, Halo was worthy of being a launch title. Perfect Dark is not. I'm not comparing PD:Z to Halo, other than for comparison of quality, innovation, and general ambition and creativity. On that level, PD:Z could have been so much better with the hardware available. For the sake of discussion, this doesn't fill some void caused by the lack of halo 3. Halo 2 does that.
Graphics:
Pretty good I guess. Overall, they seem bland and forgettable.
Sound:
Some ear-piercing noises in the beginning. Nice gun sounds. Gee. I really don't remember.
The main character:
Miss Dark has taken a break from professional DDR dancing to shoot criminals. I hope this American Idol runner-up wasn't intended to be a creative alternative to the typically male soldier associated with the FPS.
Story:
There is really nothing here, I'm sorry to say. Or perhaps there was, and I just forgot.
Gameplay:
I've experienced better combat mechanics in Timesplitters 2 (which is sort of comparable in terms of pacing and weapon physics). There is a cover option that would be nice if it were a little more consistent. Shooting enemies involves either a couple of headshots, or blasting chunks of armor until flesh is exposed and getting a kill. While this graphic effect is interesting at first, after a few multiplayer battles, it becomes a little gimmicky. The levels are fairly open with a lot of impassable areas. The hovercraft is a mediocre attempt at adding vehicles. The roll is a nice alternative to jump. However, I like jumping. It would be better to have rolling as an addition as opposed to an alternative. To take away jumping literally removes a dimension from combat and exploration. It seems like laziness on the part of the programmers more than anything. The major problem with this game is that I'm acutely aware that I'm playing a game. The immersion is completely absent.
Pros:
Frenzied 32 player multiplayer (fantastic. I'll round them up after I finish this halo 2 match!).
Quite a few weapons at your disposal
A semi-effective cover system
Cons:
A nothing story
Many games will give you a better experience for less expense
Overall:
I really don't remember this game much at all. It seems like a combo of other FPSs with some differences that are sort of sketchy and ultimately annoying. It just doesn't handle well, for a lack of better words. If this is the first game of this type that you have ever played and you already plunked down the change, I'm sure you will love it.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Condemned: Criminal Origins (xbox 360)
Condemned: Criminal Origins is not part of a franchise, or drippings from the chapped teat of a cash cow. It's an honest effort, and a risk that deserves your money. From the slew of 360 release titles that I've played so far, this would be in my top 3, if for no other reason than its freshness and gameplay.
You begin the game as a top level FBI agent investigating a grisly murder scene. As the game progresses, you will be using your investigative skills to solve something far more sinister.
I never ever felt at ease playing this game. The atmosphere, the sound, the brutality of the enemy, and the grit and mood of the setting never allowed me to get comfortable. I wouldn't for example, say the same thing with Doom 3, where I would rush into nearly any situation with my chainsaw revved and a grin on my face. Condemned, in contrast, keeps you vulnerable. There are no chainsaws, ammo lockers, and bfg's. There are large pipes, small pipes, 2x4s with nails, and 2x4s with bolts (to name only a few). There are precious few moments with any legitimate weapon, say, a firearm, but you'll soon have to resort to using the butt end of it when your meager ammo is dumped without consequence into some of the tougher enemies. At that point, you might prefer the ever-present locker door, to add the yellow clank of death. Or you may be a wooden beam man/woman. The environment provides an assortment of ready made bludgeons for your enjoyment and exploration. You are allowed one such weapon at a time. Using the butt of a firearm was never as effective as grabbing the nearest conduit, and the firearms would eventually break. That never seemed to matter when I played.
That's not all, however. You also get a CSI style toolkit with which to collect evidence. The tools are so incredibly slick, I would have liked to see them more effectively implemented into the story through its completion. There is a bit of handholding with the tools, and a freeform approach might have been better, albeit difficult to implement I'm sure.
Graphics:
Animations are superb, and they are probably what graphically make this game. The bizarre maneuverings of the various grotesque semi-human abominations pay considerable homage to works of John Carpenter.
The textures do much to support the dilapidated environments. I found myself wanting a little intermission from the terribly weathered, beaten ruins I was exploring. There was no such mercy from this game. No well-lit garden respites. No disco halls or mini-games. Pure gloom.
The framerate is simply high all of the time. No noticeable slowdowns.
Sound:
From the ambient sounds to the heavy breathing and horrific growls preceding an attack, sounds are perfect. Fantastic original score (mostly brief passages of mood music). Sounds of my own stumbling around were causing me on several occasions to check my shorts. Play this with surround sound if at all possible. Combat sounds are convincing as well, from the scissor slash sound of the paper cutter blade (yeah... you read right) to the bonk of the nailed 2x4 as it connects with some afflicted crackhead, the sounds are there, wicked and sickening as they should be.
Story:
It begins as a deep, gradual, and satisfying investigation, and ends sort of oddly and abruptly. Play this game, and I would be glad to discuss with you the exact moment the game had to be pushed to gold for an early release date. I would say that the story is ok, but the collecting of evidence (which was brilliant) didn't really mesh with the final moments of the game, which seemed sort of typical. I get a little skeptical when an extended movie sort of ties up all of the loose ends. Well, at least they were tied.
Gameplay:
It's an unusual and challenging melee style fps combat system with little use of a HUD and reticules. The controls are responsive and easy to pick up. The environments are heavily interactive. The timing and physics of the combat is incredibly convincing, and with the grunts, and speed of various attacks, I became immediately aware of the weight of my attacks and those of my opponents. I had zero camera or perspective issues. If I lost a fight, it was my own damned fault.
Pros:
the sum of all the parts creates one scary whole
ever-present rage and violent psychosis
Unusual bludgeoning-always a plus
combat that is without flaw with some interesting unpredictable tactics from the AI
beautiful evidence collection and tool use (some downright sublime moments)
the sounds alone made me consider wearing something more absorbent.
EA had nothing to do with its development.
Cons:
An oddball ending (it's debatable I suppose)
Not for kids (only really a con if they are watching/playing)
could use a wee bit more variety in the environments. I'm surprised that any living being would visit such places before getting whacked by what lurks there. Seems like a well-placed case of large scale arson would cleanse the neighborhood quicker than my traipsing through it with my wooden plank held high.
Conclusion:
The game is unapologetically brutal, and I recommend it for folks who would like a good scare. Consistent gestalt and finish of graphics, sound, and action. The visage of evil was nailed. Literally. I have no desire to play through levels to unlock additional concept art (even though it is worth a look). It's a one time through thing—all too short for a great experience. Buy it. Play it. Sell it.
You begin the game as a top level FBI agent investigating a grisly murder scene. As the game progresses, you will be using your investigative skills to solve something far more sinister.
I never ever felt at ease playing this game. The atmosphere, the sound, the brutality of the enemy, and the grit and mood of the setting never allowed me to get comfortable. I wouldn't for example, say the same thing with Doom 3, where I would rush into nearly any situation with my chainsaw revved and a grin on my face. Condemned, in contrast, keeps you vulnerable. There are no chainsaws, ammo lockers, and bfg's. There are large pipes, small pipes, 2x4s with nails, and 2x4s with bolts (to name only a few). There are precious few moments with any legitimate weapon, say, a firearm, but you'll soon have to resort to using the butt end of it when your meager ammo is dumped without consequence into some of the tougher enemies. At that point, you might prefer the ever-present locker door, to add the yellow clank of death. Or you may be a wooden beam man/woman. The environment provides an assortment of ready made bludgeons for your enjoyment and exploration. You are allowed one such weapon at a time. Using the butt of a firearm was never as effective as grabbing the nearest conduit, and the firearms would eventually break. That never seemed to matter when I played.
That's not all, however. You also get a CSI style toolkit with which to collect evidence. The tools are so incredibly slick, I would have liked to see them more effectively implemented into the story through its completion. There is a bit of handholding with the tools, and a freeform approach might have been better, albeit difficult to implement I'm sure.
Graphics:
Animations are superb, and they are probably what graphically make this game. The bizarre maneuverings of the various grotesque semi-human abominations pay considerable homage to works of John Carpenter.
The textures do much to support the dilapidated environments. I found myself wanting a little intermission from the terribly weathered, beaten ruins I was exploring. There was no such mercy from this game. No well-lit garden respites. No disco halls or mini-games. Pure gloom.
The framerate is simply high all of the time. No noticeable slowdowns.
Sound:
From the ambient sounds to the heavy breathing and horrific growls preceding an attack, sounds are perfect. Fantastic original score (mostly brief passages of mood music). Sounds of my own stumbling around were causing me on several occasions to check my shorts. Play this with surround sound if at all possible. Combat sounds are convincing as well, from the scissor slash sound of the paper cutter blade (yeah... you read right) to the bonk of the nailed 2x4 as it connects with some afflicted crackhead, the sounds are there, wicked and sickening as they should be.
Story:
It begins as a deep, gradual, and satisfying investigation, and ends sort of oddly and abruptly. Play this game, and I would be glad to discuss with you the exact moment the game had to be pushed to gold for an early release date. I would say that the story is ok, but the collecting of evidence (which was brilliant) didn't really mesh with the final moments of the game, which seemed sort of typical. I get a little skeptical when an extended movie sort of ties up all of the loose ends. Well, at least they were tied.
Gameplay:
It's an unusual and challenging melee style fps combat system with little use of a HUD and reticules. The controls are responsive and easy to pick up. The environments are heavily interactive. The timing and physics of the combat is incredibly convincing, and with the grunts, and speed of various attacks, I became immediately aware of the weight of my attacks and those of my opponents. I had zero camera or perspective issues. If I lost a fight, it was my own damned fault.
Pros:
the sum of all the parts creates one scary whole
ever-present rage and violent psychosis
Unusual bludgeoning-always a plus
combat that is without flaw with some interesting unpredictable tactics from the AI
beautiful evidence collection and tool use (some downright sublime moments)
the sounds alone made me consider wearing something more absorbent.
EA had nothing to do with its development.
Cons:
An oddball ending (it's debatable I suppose)
Not for kids (only really a con if they are watching/playing)
could use a wee bit more variety in the environments. I'm surprised that any living being would visit such places before getting whacked by what lurks there. Seems like a well-placed case of large scale arson would cleanse the neighborhood quicker than my traipsing through it with my wooden plank held high.
Conclusion:
The game is unapologetically brutal, and I recommend it for folks who would like a good scare. Consistent gestalt and finish of graphics, sound, and action. The visage of evil was nailed. Literally. I have no desire to play through levels to unlock additional concept art (even though it is worth a look). It's a one time through thing—all too short for a great experience. Buy it. Play it. Sell it.
America's Army:Rise of a Soldier (xbox)
Ad- Our game developers don't rely on imagination.
well, imagine this:
The soldiers move fluidly and when they speak, their mouths open at approximately the same time, or at all . Ok. Imagine that they open for starters.
The game doesn't lock up in the midst of the exhaustive training scenarios. Imagine that you don't need a specific version of xbox hardware for this title to function properly.
Imagine that the colors are more than murky, and objects are wrapped in convincing textures.
The developer indeed did not rely on their imagination for any of these things. Instead they rely on ours. I imagined that searge, while busting my balls for lack of M-16 hits was also a master ventriloquist. The man facing me, from whom there flowed some obvious southern drawled vocalizations, was some sort of wooden mannequin, defective from the neck up. After concluding that he was simply a targeting dummy and popping him with my full-metal jacket, I had to replay the whole tedious god-damned scenario. Private, what is your major malfunction? Sorry Searge. Permission to speak? I have no desire to finish the game. This private has already experienced more realism in Ghost Recon 1 for the xbox, and more recently, the exquisite Call of Duty 2 (360), and we're sad to report has gone awol soon after the helo touched down in terrorville.
The weapons physics are nice. Hmm anything else? Yeah, download the free one from the internet instead of paying 50 bones for this dead soldier. I'm hoping that AA:ROAS was not also meant as a recruiting tool. To me, it suggests "rushed, under-funded, and a waste of taxed dollars". Insert inappropriate osprey jokes here. Inexcusable crap compared to everything else that's out there. I rely on imagination to come up with Americas Army:Call of Doodie.
well, imagine this:
The soldiers move fluidly and when they speak, their mouths open at approximately the same time, or at all . Ok. Imagine that they open for starters.
The game doesn't lock up in the midst of the exhaustive training scenarios. Imagine that you don't need a specific version of xbox hardware for this title to function properly.
Imagine that the colors are more than murky, and objects are wrapped in convincing textures.
The developer indeed did not rely on their imagination for any of these things. Instead they rely on ours. I imagined that searge, while busting my balls for lack of M-16 hits was also a master ventriloquist. The man facing me, from whom there flowed some obvious southern drawled vocalizations, was some sort of wooden mannequin, defective from the neck up. After concluding that he was simply a targeting dummy and popping him with my full-metal jacket, I had to replay the whole tedious god-damned scenario. Private, what is your major malfunction? Sorry Searge. Permission to speak? I have no desire to finish the game. This private has already experienced more realism in Ghost Recon 1 for the xbox, and more recently, the exquisite Call of Duty 2 (360), and we're sad to report has gone awol soon after the helo touched down in terrorville.
The weapons physics are nice. Hmm anything else? Yeah, download the free one from the internet instead of paying 50 bones for this dead soldier. I'm hoping that AA:ROAS was not also meant as a recruiting tool. To me, it suggests "rushed, under-funded, and a waste of taxed dollars". Insert inappropriate osprey jokes here. Inexcusable crap compared to everything else that's out there. I rely on imagination to come up with Americas Army:Call of Doodie.
Welcome All
As much as I would like to see a consumer revolution, my wordy intro above will not typically apply to my reviews. I'll review anything and everything that inspires me or enrages me. I'm an avid video gamer, graphic designer, movie watcher, and I also like to pretend that I can write. Sometimes, I may even review a book. There will not be any rhyme or reason to my reviews. I may stick a coffee pot that fails to pour properly in with the latest zombie flick. Structure may come later, but first for the content. I will not necessarily review Oprah's latest recommendation, instead addressing another book that may have affected me one way or another. In my limited years on this planet as a graphic designer, I do have a lot of experience with the doldrums of marketing, and consequently, you may find me a little skeptical.
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